The Myths of Male Suicide

The myths surrounding male suicide are pervasive, and destructive, and often serve as barriers to meaningful intervention. These misconceptions not only reflect the stigma around mental health but also deepen the isolation many men feel, preventing them from seeking the help they need. This email delves into five common myths about male suicide and reveals how they contribute to the silent suffering of many. Each myth is carefully unraveled—showing the reality beneath—and told with stories of struggle, resilience, and hope. In challenging these assumptions, the goal is to foster deeper understanding and compassion, breaking the silence and empowering men and their communities to engage in open, honest conversations.

Myth 1: Discussing Suicide Will Put the Idea in Someone’s Head

Reality: Open discussions about suicide reduce stigma and provide essential opportunities to recognize and support individuals at risk.

A Story of Silence and Its Cost

Jason was a father of two and a construction worker known for his quiet resilience. After his company downsized, the pressure of supporting his family became unbearable. His wife, Sarah, sensed something was wrong but didn’t know how to approach it. Afraid that bringing up suicide might “plant” the idea in his mind, she remained silent. Jason took his life one winter evening. Had Sarah known that talking about suicide can be lifesaving, she might have asked the difficult questions. Research shows that candid discussions not only help identify warning signs but also dismantle the stigma that often surrounds mental health in men​​.

Breaking the Silence

Conversations about suicide are not triggers—they are invitations to share. These dialogues act as lifelines, offering men an opportunity to express their struggles without shame. For many, simply knowing that it is okay to talk about dark thoughts can lessen their intensity. Asking “Are you thinking of hurting yourself?” signals care, not judgment, and creates space for support long before a crisis emerges.

Myth 2: Strong, Successful Men Don’t Struggle with Suicide

Reality: Strength and success do not immunize anyone from mental health challenges. Often, high-functioning individuals hide their pain behind achievements.

The Mask of Perfection

Mark was the epitome of success—a 40-year-old lawyer with accolades lining his office walls. But beneath his polished exterior, Mark was falling apart. He often stayed at work late, drowning himself in cases to avoid confronting the emptiness inside. To everyone around him, he was a man in control. One day, the pressure became too much, and Mark ended his life. His colleagues were stunned: How could someone so accomplished be so troubled? This myth that “strong men don’t struggle” keeps many from seeking help, believing that acknowledging pain is incompatible with success. In reality, many men suppress their emotions, fearful of being seen as weak​​.

The Hidden Toll of Success

Men in high-pressure roles are particularly vulnerable because they feel obligated to maintain an image of control. Internalizing the idea that strength means emotional restraint often delays intervention until it’s too late. True strength lies in vulnerability—admitting struggles and seeking help when needed.

Myth 3: Mental Illness Always Precedes Suicide in Men

Reality: While mental illness can contribute, many men who die by suicide were never diagnosed with a mental health disorder. Life stressors alone can be overwhelming.

Life’s Unseen Burdens

Alex was a 29-year-old construction worker. He had no documented history of depression, but a series of life events—job loss, divorce, and financial strain—led him into a spiral of despair. He didn’t fit the stereotype of someone suffering from mental illness, so his friends dismissed his irritability and drinking as stress. Alex ended his life a week after his final paycheck ran out.

Recognizing Non-Medical Triggers

Not every man who considers suicide has a clinical diagnosis. Everyday challenges—financial hardship, loneliness, or relationship breakdowns—can push them toward the brink. Recognizing that men’s struggles often lie in life circumstances, not just mental illness, broadens the scope of intervention​​. Communities and families must learn to look beyond diagnoses and address the impact of life events.

Myth 4: Men Don’t Ask for Help Because They Don’t Need It

Reality: Men often avoid seeking help not because they don’t need it, but because of social expectations and fear of appearing weak.

The Weight of Pride

Jake knew he needed help. He felt himself slipping into darker thoughts but couldn’t bear the idea of telling anyone. Raised with the belief that men solve their problems, Jake convinced himself that reaching out was a sign of failure. He told himself, “Real men handle their struggles alone.”

Challenging Masculine Norms

Many men grow up hearing messages like “man up” or “don’t cry,” internalizing the belief that asking for help makes them weak. This myth isolates them at the very moment they need connection the most. In truth, seeking help is not a sign of weakness—it is a courageous act of self-preservation and responsibility. As communities work to normalize vulnerability, men will feel more empowered to access mental health resources without shame​​.

Myth 5: Suicidal Thoughts Are a Permanent State

Reality: Suicidal ideation is often temporary and treatable with appropriate intervention.

A Glimmer of Hope

After losing his job and ending a long-term relationship, Tom felt as though life had lost all meaning. For weeks, he thought about ending his life. One day, while sitting in his truck at the edge of a cliff, he received a call from a friend he hadn’t spoken to in years. That unexpected connection saved his life. Tom sought therapy, and though the thoughts didn’t disappear overnight, they gradually faded. Today, he runs a support group for men navigating life transitions.

Suicidal Thoughts Can Change

The belief that suicidal thoughts are permanent is not only false but dangerous. With the right support—whether therapy, medication, or connection—many people recover from these thoughts and go on to lead fulfilling lives​​. Recovery is possible, but it requires breaking the myth that suicidal ideation is a lifelong sentence.

Conclusion: Myths as Barriers to Healing

These five myths contribute to a culture that stigmatizes mental health, isolates men, and perpetuates cycles of silence and suffering. In reality, open conversations about suicide do not encourage it; they save lives. Strength is not found in pretending everything is fine but in admitting when things aren’t. Success, strength, or the absence of diagnosed mental illness does not shield anyone from emotional struggle. And most importantly, asking for help is not a sign of failure—it is a testament to one’s will to live. As we dismantle these myths, we open the door to more compassionate, effective interventions. It is time to shift the narrative around male suicide, creating a world where men feel safe to express their emotions, seek help, and find hope. There is strength in connection, healing in honesty, and life beyond the darkest of thoughts.

Take care of yourself today,

Ethan

(Want to read more? Check out my book: Things in My Pocket)