Reflections from a Young, White Man

Ope: 

I point to the center of my palm to show where I was born and raised. I traveled to the left edge of the pinky to get a Bachelor's degree in Business from a small Christian, liberal arts college. I traveled to the muscular part of the thumb to get a Masters degree in Social Work from the University of Michigan. 

During the 2024 election campaign, there was a Kamala Harris rally in Ann Arbor and a Donald Trump rally in Holland. Pinky and thumb, East and West, Social Work and Business, a swing state, a house divided. 

A soul conflicted. 

Ope, I Voted: 

I was in Iowa when the election results came in. The joyful cheers and sense of relief was palpable. The next day I returned home for class in Ann Arbor. The sorrowful screams and sense of fear was piercing. 

I have voted twice now. I’ve never told anyone who I voted for - not my Dad, not my Mom, not my brother, not my girlfriend. The beauty of this is that people feel safe to tell me what they really think. Like Casper the friendly ghost, I camouflage into the drywall around me with my skin and with my lack of self-disclosure. With this ability, here are some of the things I have heard. 

“If you voted for Trump, disrespectfully f*ck you.” 

“I voted for Trump because I have morals.” 

“I am a staunch conservative, but I couldn’t vote for Trump.” 

Midwest Nice:

My biggest feeling as a young, white man this election: bad. That may not seem like a deep enough reflection from a therapist in training, but I did not feel good. I felt tension, guilt and other low energy, negative emotions towards this election. I feel bad that this election doesn’t affect me much. My life will go on about the same. I’m sorry? That’s the Midwest thing to say. I won’t tell you who I voted for, but I will tell you some of my thoughts. “Why even vote? It doesn’t matter.” “You’re too young.” “You don’t have a fully baked opinion.” “This doesn’t concern you.” 

I’m not blaming myself here because ultimately I did vote. I’m blaming both parties for their lack of empowering messaging for young men. From the left, there was no messaging. From the right, there was only degrading messaging that further perpetuates the manosphere. In big events like an election, my first thought goes to, “what are young, white men thinking here?” As a men’s mental health advocate, my pursuit is to create a safe haven for struggling young men. I am distraught by the lack of hospitality from both parties. I did not feel good walking out of that election booth. I view voting as a responsibility with clear consequences, and the consequences were on the forefront of my mind walking out that day. 

Sitting in the voting booth, looking at the two bubbles with my 23 year old, midwest mind, my thoughts were, “if you don’t vote democrat you don’t care about people and if you don’t vote republican you don’t care about God.” This is an overgeneralization and I do not write this article to influence people towards either party. There are pros and cons to each. I share this to further reveal the tension I felt this year.  My goal here is to inform you of how communication and media influenced my thought process.  

Midwest Goodbye: 

What has this election outcome taught me? Young, white men will continue to be the drywall of this country. Necessary for the structural integrity of the whole, yet something to punch a hole through, something to color on, and something to cover up with ugly wallpaper. But somewhere, in a small room of this building, someone will hang a beautiful piece of art on this drywall and give it a sense of purpose. 

I do not represent all young, white men. I am only one spackle to look at on your ceiling. My interest is to help with the framing and painting, identify mold, and support this house for the sake of everyone in it. I am here to empower young men and remind them that they are needed. 

You are not alone. 

I will end my rambling here and say goodbye. 

Please, respond with any thoughts. 

If you can, introduce someone to this newsletter. 

Okay, bye. 

Ethan